My Chadian Social Life (Part 2): On verra…

To me being flexible has always meant the willingness to change plans with changing circumstances… that is to say, even flexible people have plans to start with. This year, however, I’m discovering a whole new dimension to what it means to be flexible which often involves a good deal of going with the flow. This December, my ability to live in the moment has been ultimately put to the test. From weddings to Christmas gatherings, ‘on verra’ or ‘we’ll see’ has been the hallmark phrase of each celebration.

Take for example, the wedding of my friend Clémence earlier this month. As it turned out, the wedding was the scheduled for the last day of a large workshop on conflict transformation that Ethics Peace and Justice was running in the south of Chad (about a 8 hour journey from N’Djamena). This was a problem. I had already told Clémence that I would attend her ceremony and she had even asked me to wear a matching dress with many of her other friends and family… and yet, would I make it to the ceremony? On verra… with permission to leave the workshop early, I caught the early morning bus to N’Djamena the day of the ceremony. If everything went normalement (according to plan), I’d arrive in the city at 1:30pm for a 2pm wedding. I of course had no plan for how I would get to the ceremony; it was way too early to think about those details… Despite potholes and animals running between our wheels, herds of cattle and a few traditional ‘bathroom’ stops, we arrived precisely and remarkably on time in N’Djamena. Similar luck proceeded to guide each step of my speedy transition from traveller to wedding-goer until I found myself standing in front of Church 6, dressed in my freshly tailored Chadian outfit, only about 20 minutes late, and one of the first guests to arrive…

And because I was one of the first to arrive, I had no idea where my friends and colleagues were, nor did I know where amongst the groups of matching outfits might be an appropriate place for me to sit... apparently my colour hadn’t arrived yet. I managed to find a young usher (who looked like she’d much rather be enjoying the ceremony with her friends than showing older guests to their seats). Without a word and assuming I must be a very special guest, she showed me to some chairs that were set up at the very front of the church and on a bit of an angle to the rest. I had a sneaking suspicion I was in the wrong place, but a bit helpless to make a better choice. As the rest of the angled chairs filled up with middle-aged, important-looking men, I grew increasingly certain of the awkwardness of my situation. Eventually my friends showed up, clearly a little surprised to find me seated with the pastors and elders. By this time the church was full of dancing guests and the choir (backed up with a small keyboard, solo guitar and drum kit) was in full swing behind me. There was no room to move so I stayed where I was. I gave up on fitting in a long time ago, so I just sat back and enjoyed the music!

The wedding ceremony itself took several hours and was full of song and dance, and of course a long sermon. Since all of the legal marriage rituals are done in a separate ceremony in the morning, this is a strictly community-focused event. A friend of the couple presented a comedic monologue and various groups of family and friends gifted the couple with a prepared song (accompanied by a traditional stringed drum). Many of the traditions were surprisingly similar to how weddings are done back home – the vows, the rings, the cake, and even the attire of the bride and groom were not at all unlike what I’ve seen at my friends weddings in Canada. When it comes to presenting the gifts, however, there was no mistaking the distinctly Chadian flavour of this wedding. After a brief announcement the music began again and people began dancing up the isles, all manner of household items held high above their heads. People cheered and clapped and danced their gifts up to the front to create a large pile in front of the couple. This more or less marked the end of the ceremony, but the dancing continued; we were offered plates of sweets and eventually filtered out into the night.

All through events like this, if people are worried about how things will turn out they certainly don’t show it. From an outsiders perspective the ‘Chadian way’ can easily be seen as simply putting off planning as long as possible, or occasionally altogether. Or it might be seen as a lack of foresight or organization. In practice, however, I’ve found it to be more of a preference that often just makes sense given the context in which we are living. Instead of a schedule where each task is allotted a certain time, tasks are prioritized and generally carried out in that order regardless of how long they take to accomplish. In this context, leaving plans ambiguous is actually an extremely practical way of ‘organizing’ one’s day, accounting for all the likely yet unforeseeable happenings of day to day life.

At the end of the day, acceptance for the unexpected is the prominent attitude, and I’ve found that the more comfortable I become with this way of scheduling, the easier it becomes to settle into the flow of Chadian life. Even as I write this, it is 5:30pm on New Year’s Eve and I still don’t know how I will celebrate. I might drop in on my host family’s church where people will be singing and dancing until dawn tomorrow. I might be invited to attend a formal new year’s party with my host dad and many of his colleagues. I might spend the evening with some expat friends (who have clearly picked up the Chadian tendency of last minute planning), or I might have a quiet night in with my host mom and sister… What is certain is that 2014 is going to begin in the company of good friends, looking back on a full and fruitful year, thinking of loved ones around the world, and looking forward to certain and unpredictable adventures in the year ahead… On verra.